28 Mar Why things are not working for you as you like?
Discover what you can do to create a lasting shift.
The thing is, your subconscious mind, and your nervous system will only allow you to go to where it feels SAFE to go.
So, how does this work?
Growing up in life, we receive constant feedback from our environment. Feedback from our parents, our educators, the social system, and our peers.
And that feedback lets us know what we can do and not do in order to stay connected and to secure love, safety, and belonging.
Very important for our survival, but the thing is that some of those feedback mechanisms have been either incorrect, not well intended, even traumatic, or simply misinterpreted by our system. Consider how a young and not fully developed brain draws conclusions about itself or the world, based on what that young brain is capable of understanding.
Very intelligent system, but not necessarily what is appropriate and helpful as we grow older.
These beliefs and ideas around ourselves, our place in the world, and what we can expect then get stuck as an automatic reactive pattern in our nervous system. Later in life, when attempting new things, we may feel frozen, resistant, or afraid, and we either give up, or force our way through, entering a cycle of endless trial and error.
Sounds familiar? We all do that to one extent or another.
What is the solution? We need to rewire our brains to what is actually safe and available right now, using tools like nervous system regulation and connecting to those young versions of ourselves.
For years, I have not had access to my creative expression as I wanted, simply because of deeply rooted, and dysfunctional shame and guilt that was instilled in me growing up in a religious cult. I was deeply insecure and terrified of any real or perceived rejection.
I would take a step forward, but I noticed how I would feel my energy shrinking with the idea of expressing myself in a certain way. I would always try again and push through, but it would drain the life out of me.
When we connect to the parts of us that feel so unsafe in this world, offer our compassion, and warmth, and do the practices that create a sense of relaxation in our bodies, all of a sudden, taking risks, and showing up in life becomes so much easier.
So, what would you do if you wouldn’t fear rejection or judgment? What is the thing you are holding back on? What step would you take if that would feel safe? What would you do if you could deeply relax?
When we create a deep sense of safety within ourselves, and learn how to relax and release our tensions things that feel so hard become a lot easier. Things like:
Setting boundaries
Asking for what you want
Expressing your likes and dislikes
Saying what you actually think
Expressing emotions authentically
Creating clarity and getting answers
Taking risks and trying new experiences
Building and maintaining healthy relationships
Pursuing personal and professional goals
Finishing that course you started
Ending procrastination
In my experience from my personal life, and from what I see in my clients, this is what happens over and again. It’s such a beautiful thing to witness someone relax into the fullness of who they are.
If you want to simply understand how your nervous system works and how to recalibrate your nervous system, check out my brand new course that is self-paced, online, and you can enjoy from the safety of your home.
The daily practices take only 10 to 15 minutes of your time, and I guarantee you they feel amazing.